2008 VMA Verdict: Not as bad as last year!

Look y'all, I'm not on quaaludes this
year!

So, last night was the 25th anniversary of MTV’s Video Music Awards. I realize that I may seem like the wrong person to review the VMAs, being that my personal music taste -- which includes Britpop, old school industrial, some hip hop and most of what’s on Ed Banger Records -- is not exactly what this network specializes in.

I’m well aware that I’m not MTV’s target demo, however, a bigger fan of the VMAs you will not find. The awards are a tradition in my house -- I have seen every one of these since I was in elementary school, and I’ve even got a good number of them on old VHS tapes in my basement.

That being said, the VMAs certainly aren’t what they used to be. Lately there’s been some terrible ones, starting around 2005 when they let Diddy host and culminating last year, in what was not only the worst VMA of all time, but a convoluted mess that was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen on television.

But, of course, I went back for more this year, ever hopeful that there will be something as great as that time the dude from Rage Against the Machine climbed up the set scaffolding and threatened to jump when Fred Durst won an award Let’s see how it went...

- Britney Spears opened the show in a skit with one of those guys from Superbad. This was largely unfunny, but I guess it showed improvement from the drugged out zombie dance she called a performance to open last year’s show. She does look about 1000 times better.

- Spears introduced Rihanna, who did “Disturbia” complete with faux-goth dancers and a personal tower a la Antichrist Superstar. I’m sure that did not escape Marilyn Manson, who at this very moment is probably writing a blog about how that bitch ripped him off. I don’t really understand what this upbeat club pop song has to do with the goth motif, but whatever. Very odd bit in the middle of the song, however, when the band pounded out a couple lines from “Seven Nation Army.” Weird White Stripes homage aside, this was well put together for what it was.

I don't know why he needed 3 belts
either, but the guy was funny as
hell, so I'm giving him a pass.

- Next up we meet this year’s host, Russell Brand. This guy is uber famous in the UK and kinda nobody here. You might remember him from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but you also might not. He referenced this, commenting that there might be a problem because his persona “really only works with fame,” which I thought that was a great line, but didn’t go over very well with the crowd. In fact, not much of his humor went over well with the crowd, who seemed fairly uncomfortable with the whole making fun of people thing. Makes me wonder how the legendary Chris Rock-hosted VMAs of the late 90s would go over today. Crowd reaction aside, Brand was very, very funny and throughout the night proved himself to be the best thing about the show.

- The Jonas Brothers played something...Seriously, it boggles the mind that there are people over the age of 13 who find this to be acceptable music. Most notable thing about them was Russell Brand’s relentless jokes throughout the night about their much flaunted virginity promise rings. Look, I really could not care less about their moral choices, but their music is wretched, so I’m up for any reason to make fun of these tools. I got the distinct feeling people were a bit offended by Brand’s insinuation that he’d take the virginity of these teenage goodie-two-shoes (and based on the Jonas Brothers stone-faced reaction, they clearly had no sense of humor either.) But it’s comments like that that kinda make me wanna marry the guy, so it’s all subjective.

T-Pain (left) vs The dude from MCR

- Lil Wayne performed next and set a record for the number of times you can touch your crotch in three minutes. I will give him credit that, unlike the miserable performance of his I caught at V-Fest, at least there was a live band and he wasn’t rapping over his cd. T-Pain also made a guest appearance, leaving me to wonder why he raided My Chemical Romance’s wardrobe.

- Pink did her thing next. I’m not the biggest fan of this girl, but it was a neat show. MTV made great use of the fact that the awards were held on Paramount’s lot in LA, utilizing the movie sets for the performances. Reminded me of the good old days when the VMAs were special and people did unique performances you wouldn’t see anywhere else.

- Jordan Sparks presented something and managed to cram in a comment about how you shouldn’t make fun of people who wear promise rings because “not every guy or girl wants to be a slut.” Because I’m a bad person, I giggle, roll my eyes, and make a comment about how she really doesn’t need a promise ring to keep herself a virgin. Oh, snap.

- Chris Brown and Rihanna did that song where they sing over the melody of “Dragostea din Tei.” Well, I know that it’s called “Dragostea din Tei” -- you know it as that “Numa Numa” song you watched that fat kid lip sync to on YouTube.

- Christina Aguilera did a dark electro version of the first verse of Genie in a Bottle, which I rather enjoyed. This led into her new song, “Keeps Gettin’ Better,” which, to my delight, reminds me of her “Dirty” period. I like this girl so much better when she stops trying to prove what a good singer she is and just cranks out the club hits.

Why this was relegated to filler material,
I'll never understand.

- They showed 30 seconds of LL Cool J is doing “Goin Back to Cali” on the floor with the other bands who don’t matter. Are you kidding me? Also relegated to post-commercial bumper spots are Lupe Fiasco and The Ting Tings, which is a real shame, since these people are actually talented and I would’ve liked to have seen them get the benefit of real performances.

- Kid Rock was up next, and before launching into “All Summer Long,” he took a shot at all the fake people who dance and lip sync instead of being real performers. I’d like to point out that “All Summer Long” is essentially a cover of “Sweet Home Alabama,” but with different words. Kid Rock -- keepin’ it real.

- Britney Spears took home Video of the Year for “Piece of Me”. Is it me, or does that deserve a late pass like nothing else? I don’t think anybody in the world would argue that Britney is in any way relevant to today’s music scene. Not that I expected anything great to win – I don’t think a truly breathtaking video has won since The Smashing Pumpkins took it in 1996 for “Tonight, Tonight.” Hell, the fact that anything – ANYTHING – was able to beat out Justice’s "D.A.N.C.E.". last year, says that this award has very little to do with what is, in fact, the best video of the year. But it usually does have something to do with who’s the most popular, and I find it hard to believe Britney fits that bill anymore.

- And finally, Kanye West closed the show with a song no one knows. I’ve seen West live, and I can vouch that he puts on a good show, but for some reason he decided to go the extremely understated route here, which kinda gave the show a solidly “eh” ending.

Overall, I have to say it was much better than last year. Certainly not one of the classics, but watchable at least. Huge credit to Russell Brand, who was the best host they’ve had in a long time, even if barely anyone there appreciated it. And they brought the quality of the performances up, for the most part, which is a good thing. See ya next year.

- Amirah